Kimberly Lang

Battling the Grammar Gremlins

Common Gremlins

Kimberly Lang

This month, we’re going to address some very common gremlins. Most of these run unchecked through the language, setting people’s teeth on edge as they go. Some are more grievous sins than others, but I’ll bet real money that everyone has tripped up on at least one of the following.

Who vs. Whom

Who is a subject pronoun; whom is an object pronoun. ALWAYS. If the pronoun is performing the action (e.g., the person doing something), then you must use the subject pronoun “who” just as you would use the subject pronoun “she.” If the pronoun is not performing an action, use “whom” just as you would use the object pronoun “her.” (The same goes for whoever and whomever.)

Kimberly wanted to know who was still having problems with commas. Since someone is still having problems with commas (she was still having problems with commas), the correct pronoun is “who.”

To whom did you speak? Whom is the object of the preposition in this sentence. (Rearrange this sentence: Did you speak to her?)

Sometimes writers get to meet the agents and editors whom they queried. Whom doesn’t have a verb here—must be an object. (Whom refers to the object nouns “agents and editors,” so think of it as they queried them.)

Here’s the best quick and dirty rule I can give you: If your sentence is not a question, use “who” if the pronoun is immediately followed by a verb, and use “whom” if the pronoun is followed by a noun or pronoun. For questions, decide if the pronoun will replace the subject or the object.

I know it sounds funny because in our everyday speech we tend to use “who” more than “whom.” That doesn’t make it correct, though. Remember: Who = subject. Whom =object. There. You’ll never confuse the two again.

Lie vs. Lay

Lie and lay are commonly confused; I think everyone has battled this Gremlin at some point. It’s so common, there’s even a cute little mnemonic: “Chickens lay eggs; you lie down.” Gee, wasn’t that helpful. What this sentence is designed to do is remind you which one of your verbs is transitive and which one is intransitive. Transitive verbs always take a direct object; intransitive verbs never do.

Lie is an intransitive verb meaning “to recline or rest.” Since an intransitive verb never takes a direct object, you cannot lie something. Lay is a transitive verb meaning “to put or to place.” Therefore, you have to have an object to lay.

I lie in the sun. Lie down on the bed. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Please lay the book on the table. Lay your coat on the bed.

Now the real problem comes when we leave the present tense.

LIE (Remember, intransitive verbs do not take an object):

Present: I lie in the sun.

Past: Yesterday, I lay in the sun. (Tricky—the past tense of “lie” is “lay.”)

Past Participle: I had lain in the sun all day.

Present Participle: I was lying in the sun when I saw him.

LAY (Now we need a direct object):

Present: Go lay the book on the table.

Past: Yesterday, I laid the book on the table.

Past Participle: I had laid the book on the table.

Present Participle: I was laying the book on the table when I dropped it.

If lie/lay is one of your gremlins, go ahead and make yourself a little cheat sheet and attach it to the bulletin board over your desk. (You even have my permission to cut out the one above and use it.)

Good/Well and Bad/Badly

Good and bad are adjectives, and adjectives modify nouns. She did a good job. That is one bad dog. I’ve had a bad day. What a good girl.

Well and badly are adverbs, and adverbs modify verbs. She speaks English well. Her broken arm hurts badly. I sing badly, but I dance very well.

There is an exception, of course. Well becomes an adjective when you need a subject complement. Don’t panic at the terminology. A subject complement describes the state of being of the subject. I am cold. She is pretty. The adjectives “cold” and “pretty” simply describe the situation of the subject of the sentence. “Well” becomes an adjective in this case to serve as the subject complement. I am well. It’s just as well.

Don’t get carried away, though, and use the adverb “badly” the same way. “Badly” doesn’t become a subject complement; you have to use “bad.” The sentence I feel badly means there’s something wrong with your fingers and sense of touch. Just remember, your arm may hurt badly when you break it, but you feel bad you did it while on vacation.

Ambiguous or vague pronoun reference:

Ambiguous pronouns could refer to more than one noun in the sentence:

Kim told Shelley she should go to the conference. Who should go to the conference? Kim or Shelley?

Sentences with ambiguous pronouns have to be rewritten: Kim told Shelley to go to the conference.

Vague pronouns don’t refer to any specific person or thing:

They say editors won’t read manuscripts in any font other than Courier New. Who is “they?” (And why are you listening to them anyway?)

Before I downloaded my email, it asked me for my password. Umm, who or what asked for your password?

If you can’t draw an arrow from the pronoun to the noun it references, then the pronoun is vague. You can replace the pronoun with the noun (Before I downloaded my email, the computer asked for my password.) or rewrite completely (Before I downloaded my email, I had to enter my password.).

Pronoun agreement

We all know pronouns must agree with their nouns in gender and number. (You don’t replace “Stella” with “he” or “them.”) Subject pronouns must also agree with their verbs. (She goes, not She go.) But pronouns must still agree in number even if you don’t know which gender to use.

Here’s an example: Each student should bring their books each day. Now, each student is singular, and you have verb agreement, but the pronoun their is plural. Our pronoun must agree with its noun. If we don’t know the gender of the person in question, we’ve traditionally used the male pronoun in these situations. But that seems sexist and misleading, so to be inclusive, we should really use the phrase his or her.

Each student should bring his or her books each day. Now we have a correct sentence, but it feels bulky, clunky, overly formal, and just plain awkward. No wonder we’ve started using the all-purpose their.

While it feels better, it’s still wrong. Sorry. Yes, Jane Austen did it, and you can probably list hundreds of places where you see it every day. To paraphrase your mother, just because everyone else is doing it, that doesn’t make it right.

You can rewrite the sentence to make the subject plural (All students should bring their books each day.), but that won’t work in a sentence like Someone left their stuff in the kitchen. Just realize that the use of their in these situations is common, colloquial, and easy, but it is still incorrect. Whether your editor lets you do it or not is a different story.

Apostrophes

Our local discount store (I won’t mention names, but it begins with “W” and ends in “Mart”) has a sign in the parking lot stating, “No Trucks. Delivery’s in back.” I cringe; I shudder; I mentally compose carefully worded letters to the corporate headquarters. It makes me want to join the militant wing of the Apostrophe Protection Society as soon as Lynn Truss finds the balaclavas. (Lynn Truss is the author of Eats, Shoots and Leaves. It should be required reading for everyone.) If you’ve ever felt the need to take white paint or a black marker to a sign with an unneeded, omitted, or misplaced apostrophe, you may want to join up as well. (Hey, if I can find enough of us, we’ll form the American branch of the APS.)

For the rest, though, here’s a quick run-down of the proper ways to use the apostrophe:

Add ’s to a singular noun to show possession.. Dog’s bed. Mother’s car. It is preferred that singular nouns ending in s have an ’s added: Tess’s car.
Add an apostrophe to plural nouns ending in s to show possession. Writers’ conference. Readers’ Luncheon.
Add ’s to irregular plurals to show possession. Children’s books. Women’s fiction.
Add ’s to both nouns to show individual ownership. Kim’s and Kira’s books. (Kim’s books and Kira’s books.)
Add ’s to the final noun to show joint ownership. Kim and Kira’s website. (One website belonging to them both.)
Do not add an apostrophe to personal possessive pronouns: My, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, its, our, ours, their, theirs, whose. Possessive pronouns indicate ownership. They NEVER use an apostrophe.
Add ’s to indefinite pronouns to show possession. Someone’s backpack. Everyone’s happiness.
Use an apostrophe in contractions in place of the missing letter(s): You are = you’re. Could not= couldn’t. I am= I’m. It is= it’s. See #6 above about possessive pronouns. It’s, who’s, you’re, and they’re sound like the possessive, but they are not. Don’t mix them up.
Use an ’s to form the plural of a letter or number. Italicize the letter or number, but not the ’s: Mind your p’s and q’s. I can’t tell your 1’s from your 7’s.
Use ’s to form the plural of an abbreviation containing periods. Two V.I.P.’s.
Do not use’s to form the plural of abbreviations or acronyms written without periods. IOUs. DVDs. Decades also do not use ’s. The 1890s.

That’s it for this month. I’ll track down some new gremlins for next month. Let me know if there’s something particular you’d like me to take on.